The laughs keep coming and coming. Check out this week’s plentiful bounty of great tweets. It truly is a golden age of tweets. It almost makes you ignore society could fall at any moment and we have serious nature problems.
what do flight attendants laugh about so much in their little section at the front of the plane, tell us your secret jokes you flying bastards
— k e i t h đ€đ„ (@KeetPotato) September 23, 2019
high school teachers: your college professors wonât be nearly as laid back as I am
my college professor: pic.twitter.com/ivKLR4afxX
— M (@atmckenna) October 16, 2019
have you or a family member ever dated a guy named matt. you maybe entitled to compensation
— discount miranda cosgrove (@sarahworseryer) October 15, 2019
I use Pedialyte so much for hangovers that I forgot it was used for anything else. Just saw a baby drinking it and my first thought was damn this baby is sloppy as shit hungover on a Monday morning
— Moss Perricone (@mossperricone) October 14, 2019
He was so terrified when we brought him home 2 days ago, now heâs a member of the familyâ€ïž pic.twitter.com/AaZpBQ2kP3
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) October 6, 2019
My GF just passed the Bar. Not only will I be a stay at home Dad Im suing everyone.
— Russell James (@RbenzHF) October 11, 2019
who wore it better pic.twitter.com/RBDCYLsdCu
— LILAFRIMANE (@LORAFRIMANEE) October 11, 2019
— ddlt (@dezdelatorre) October 8, 2019
I'm sorry but the idea of Star Trek cosplayers walking around a Renaissance Faire like time travelers will always be hilarious and amazing to me. pic.twitter.com/pcNtrJ3QfE
— Hell is Empty (So fill it with Nazis) (@Sleestak) October 11, 2019
Twitter is a dating service for matching strangers with the hills that they didnât know they wanted to die on
— Rob Manuel – follow @fesshole (@robmanuel) October 16, 2019
Welcome to the Splash Zone, Italian Translator. pic.twitter.com/IDaBGd8LkM
— John Heilemann (@jheil) October 16, 2019
Ridiculous that they made a movie about a man who can talk to the animals. Anyone can talk to the animals. This morning I told a swan to fuck off.
— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) October 15, 2019
hey TSA how you gonna take my toothpaste cause itâs âtoo bigâ but let me board with all this ass?
— parker (@allergic_2_sex) October 14, 2019
Leave a reply