20 Funny Women Who Made Us Laughing This Week

It’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what sparks the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.

Girls and gays will spend an hour perfecting their outfit then pair it with a stained tote bag filled with loose pills and gum wrappers

— ursula (@AltOccult) December 1, 2019

Imagine getting murdered and u go to heaven and god is like “they turned ur gruesome death story into a podcast lol”

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) December 2, 2019

i just found a “Christian version” of the Cha Cha slide & i am dying.
please god tell me this is the war on Christmas pic.twitter.com/XHDfq70ZOf

— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) December 4, 2019

If my husband bought me a Peleton, I'd spend a year making selfie videos of me drying my bras on it.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) December 3, 2019

dumbest bitch award goes to me😩🤣 pic.twitter.com/SpZdj6HUzZ

— 𝙅𝙖𝙙𝙖 (@JADAEDW) December 2, 2019

if i EVER find out a magic school bus is inside me exploring i will be livid

— gingerbread home investor (@poniesandsodies) December 4, 2019

pic.twitter.com/dEmhm3gYgu

— ericka🎄 (@Erickajamon) December 1, 2019

my neighbor right before he tells me what’s wrong w my lawn pic.twitter.com/9440i86ja9

— deck the halls w kimmymonte ❄️ (@KimmyMonte) November 30, 2019

This is just the absolute worst advent calendar I’ve ever gotten pic.twitter.com/XTSFI5u1fr

— maybe: clare (@clur19) December 4, 2019

today I learned that jalapenos get stretch marks when they grow and now I don't have self esteem issues anymore

— Kie (@KielyHealey) December 3, 2019

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I stayed on the couch with my snacks where it matters.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 2, 2019

“baby yoda is a bad bitch!” – me at brunch, having seen 0.00 episodes of the mandalorian

— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) December 1, 2019

Get u a mans that can open a beer with anything 😍💀😂 pic.twitter.com/hrlUuhURtc

— Stephanie🦋 (@xoxostephhhhh) December 3, 2019

me watching a tv show of any genre pic.twitter.com/UaIDqdVsq3

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) December 6, 2019

A guy dumped me because he saw me more as a friend but now he’s marrying his “best friend” so like which one is it Paul?

— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) November 29, 2019

My ex from highschool followed my new dog’s Instagram account and dm’ed her “I don’t like your mom” LMAO IM DYING

— Deyanna Diedrich (@DeyannaDiedrich) November 30, 2019

r we just gonna ignore the girl in the middle's a transformer https://t.co/pC269wKMU2

— short himbo defense squad (@narghargs) December 5, 2019

I changed my mum’s autocorrect whilst we’re on holiday in Germany. She just texted this to the cat-sitter: pic.twitter.com/drrg5G9swS

— Nicola Thorp (@nicolathorp_) December 4, 2019